Shake off the Survival Fears & Anxieties of Winter (and a long cold spring) & Revitalize your Love energy through applying the Wisdom of the Ancients
Spring is traditionally a time of new beginnings, fresh energy, love, romance & fertility. For thousands of years before industrialization, surviving the winter to see the signs of spring meant the renewed opportunity to continue living.
Through the ages, this inspired joy and celebration; the ritual shaking off of the survival trauma of winter, and infusing of fresh hopeful energy into the new cycle as seeds were planted and romance encouraged.
Though many of us feel this infusion of the fresh energy of Spring and seek to unite with it, the influences of today’s society have many of us experiencing high levels of survival stress year round, and even more so now, having lived through the last few years of so much social and economic upheaval; what some experts are calling a collective trauma.
Studies show that ongoing traumatic stress can have a weathering effect on our nervous system and can seriously impact our relationships, health, and wellbeing.
Impacts of Stress on Relationship
While we all continue to adapt as best we can, for many of us, the influence of compounding stress in our lives, has had some “snowball effects” and for many others, there is a sense of that weathering, wearing down of the nervous system that can impact personal & relational resilience.
When we’re worn down in this way, common relationship difficulties that might normally feel repairable can feel insurmountable. In fact, because stress and trauma are connected to the activation of our fight, flight, or freeze response, at these times we are seeing through the distorted lens of fear.
In these activated states, with multiple compounding stress factors, along with relationship distress, it can sometimes feel like our lives are crumbling. When our senses and relationships are being rocked by reactivity, the cycling pain of trauma-based defense patterns can be triggered - and this is all felt through our nervous system, registering as life or death situations - safety or danger.
Since our need for connection is deeply woven with our drive to survive, a disconnect in close relationships signals danger to the nervous system.
When our nervous system registers danger, our biological systems mobilize to deal with that danger and the frontal cortex, the part of our brain that enables us to be in relation and connection, as well as problem solve and be creative, begins disengage.
Its easy to get caught in the sticky cycle of feeling contracted and less connective because of stress (a fear state of distrust), then experiencing a relationship situation from that state (seeing through the lens of danger & fear), feeling and or behaving in a reactive way that leads to disconnect, and that disconnect adding to a sense of destabilization, stress, danger, and more fear, thus feeling less capacity to handle life’s inevitable challenges.
Yet in the context of feeling the weight of ancestral and global intergenerational traumas, the chasm of polarization, “rightness vs. wrongness,” and survival stress of social and economic instability, the thing we need most is to feel that there is emotional space for us
in our relationships and that there are people, circles within circles of people that we can feel a sense of safety, flow, and commonality with.
For the sake of our personal fulfillment and for humanity, we need to shift toward Love and Connection.
So, what can we do to shift? How do we create Relationship Repair & Revitalization when the amount of stressors has been on the rise over many months of experiencing a collective crisis and the body’s reaction of mobilizing for danger instead of connection may have become a bit sticky, even turning into a pattern of contraction that can be hard to shake off?
The Healing Wisdom of Ancient Traditions
Our Ancient ancestors around the world Celebrated the return of the Light of the Sun in
the Springtime because it literally meant that they had survived the hardships of Winter. The growing light and warmth of the Sun, Spring rains, new plant growth, and the birth of animals, along with their mother’s milk meant that survival for another cycle became more likely.
There’s so much we can learn from this “right off the bat” that coincides with current science.
First, tuning with Nature, spending time with-in and communing with Nature allows us to receive the blessings of our co-evolution with that which sustains life: like sunlight, water, and
trees, for example. They all have properties that are proven to sooth, nourish, and bring healing to our body’s systems on multiple levels, including boosting moods.
Numerous scientific studies have shown that time in nature decreases cortisol (stress hormone) levels, rumination, and depression, as well as lowering blood pressure and increasing anti-cancer and immune activity in the body.
Relaxing and Calming your nervous system opens the door to Connection, Love, Relationship repair & Revitalization
Second, Celebration and the playful behavior that goes along with it, like letting go to flow, singing, dancing, smiling, laughing, healthy feasting, and frolicking in connection with others each have significant scientific evidence proving that these behaviors bring in more joy and sooth and tone the nervous system which helps to heal the impacts of trauma and build resilience.
A couple of examples: scientific studies have linked regular play with improved: mood, self regulation, relationships, creative problem solving, and learning.
Singing / toning is one of the most accessible mood enhancers and can activate the parasympathetic nervous system which regulates all the systems in the body bringing in states of calm. Science shows that singing activates multiple places in both sides of the brain which enhances brain function, releases endorphins (elevate your mood), reduces cortisol, and singing with others releases oxytocin which brings a sense of connection, friendship, and belonging - and all these help to increase immunity.
Third: Gratitude. Celebration is an elevated, elaborate expression of appreciation, gratitude, and wonder.
The invocation of these states is scientifically proven to be linked with thriving health, wellbeing in life, and relationships with self and others.
The research and literature on this is abundant.
Fourth, the use of Ritual, especially communal ritual invoking trance states, providing the atmosphere for the focus of intention and emotional processing through the body and community by means of the power of rhythm, breath,
movement, vocalization, plants, and elements - All of this helps to process difficult emotions, calm the nervous system, and open you to elevated experiences of states like Love, Appreciation, Ecstasy, and Connection
The numerous studies and writings on each aspect of this is easily accessible, for anyone interested, and if you're like me, you'll find it quite fascinating!
The medicine of showing up: Just showing up to a community event could be a heart opening, connective step - remember you are not alone - we are all connected and interdependent.
An ancient cultural example of ritual such as this could come from anywhere around the Globe. I highly recommend learning more about your ancestors. My Gaelic ancestors held ritual Celebrations around this Spring time of year, we've just been passing through they call Beltane, (the word literally referring to light & fire, which they understood to be extremely powerful, healing and purifying.
Thus, traditionally, they would light the Beltane bonfire to celebrate by singing and dancing around it.
The ritual tradition of jumping over the Beltane Bonfire was an act of passion, purification,
and the intent to leave behind the hardships of winter and start fresh. Interestingly, in my research I discovered that a similar ritual is performed for the Persian new year and perhaps others too.
At Beltane, the Gaelic people would also walk with their cattle between bonfires to cleanse and protect them for the coming cycle. This was a nature based, seasonal, cultural, part of the rhythm of life (and still is in some places). Consider the attitude that there is always another opportunity coming through by following the cycles to renew oneself and start fresh.
At Beltane, everyone’s hearth fires would be extinguished and one Sacred Beltane Bonfire would be lit. From this they would bring fire from the new central bonfire to relight the hearth fires in their homes.
Fire Through the sacred fire, all are connected, and the fire of healing, passion, and romance is ignited, celebrating and encouraging fertility and the continuation of Life.
Summer Solstice is on its way; the pinnacle time of the light of the Sun.
Light a sacred fire, watch the dancing flame, listen to its voice, and let it soothe your soul. Let the Fire take you on a trance journey, clear out the cobwebs inside you. Connect to the ancient wisdom, innocence, and passion for Life inside you. Offer, Express, & share this beauty: Sing, dance, and make Love.
The experience of Love and intimacy requires relaxing & down regulating stress so that our nervous system and brain can come out of a sense of danger, into a sense of safety, and actually open to experiencing Connection.
With intention, we can do this together.
The ancient wisdom of our ancestors that I've touched on provides so many potential practical applications (backed by modern science) for people to receive profound benefits which provide the foundations for revitalizing your experience of Love.
I hope you have fun with this and enjoy the many possible applications, inspirations, and benefits... and if you're interested in exploring more deeply about Love and how to experience greater self Love and Love in your relationships, stay tuned for the upcoming series on Love &
Please feel welcome to contact me if you feel called to learn more about how you can be supported through Relationship / Couples Counselling or Individual Counselling. My passion is to support people to create Healthy, Thriving Relationships ~ with themselves & others.
WRITTEN BY
Rebecca Goutal,
Co-Creator & Transformational Facilitator of
LoveAlive Transformative Arts & Therapy
Registered Therapeutic Counsellor
You can read Rebecca' full bio here and explore receiving personalized support through
Individual Counselling & Couples Counselling, online & in person. Rebecca@lovealive.ca
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