Rethinking 'Spring Breakup': Rupture to Rapture
- Vince Wishart
- Mar 21
- 7 min read
Updated: Mar 24
As spring dawns and awakens us from our slumber, much like the bear emerging from its den, we, too, are called to shake off the dormancy of winter. This season is one of renewal, deep connection, and communion with the divine, the earth, and our deepest spiritual selves. However, for many couples, the shifting energy of Spring also brings with it instincts for freshness in intimate relationship ~ and this can stir up unresolved issues. Some get tempted to 'leap frog' over these challenges in a phenomenon known as the "Spring Breakup." Yet, this tend to prolong the real renewal that is needed ~ new ways of relating, both internally and externally.
The Dalai Lama, in How to Expand Love, offers profound wisdom on love and emotional resilience:
"Love, compassion, and concern for others are real sources of happiness. With these in abundance, you will not be disturbed by even the most uncomfortable circumstances."
My beloved Rebecca encapsulated this truth beautifully in the creed she created for our business:
We do not allow outside circumstances, real or imagined, to dictate our inner state.
This wisdom is crucial in relationships. People, places, and things are out of our control. What is within our control is our response—rather than our reaction—to discomfort and difficulty. The Dalai Lama further reminds us:
"Anger cannot be overcome by anger. If a person shows anger to you and you show anger in return, the result is disaster."
The Courage to Face the Storm
An old Lakota story illustrates the power of facing challenges head-on. A grandfather and his grandson sat by a fire on the open plains. When thunder rumbled in the distance, the boy trembled and said;
"Grandpa, sometimes when I hear the thunder, I get scared. I hide under my bed and think that a lightning monster might get me."
The grandfather replied:
"Be like the buffalo, grandson. When storms come, horses run in chaos, terrified. But the buffalo? The buffalo turns into the storm, faces it head-on, and moves through it with great courage. Be like the buffalo Grandson."
In relationships, this lesson is invaluable. Avoiding discomfort, suppressing emotions, or blaming others only prolongs suffering. If we fail to address our inner struggles, they do not disappear; they only grow stronger. Left unhealed, these wounds pass down through generations. A First Nations elder once told me:
"Now is the time to heal. The work we do now—healing what was handed to us by our ancestors and what we have accumulated in this life—affects seven generations past and seven generations forward."
Rightness
One time I was up on the top of a mountain doing a 4 day no food, no water ceremonial fast (vision quest). I was looking back on my life at all times I was right. I began to notice something that was very eary to me. I noticed that every time I was right, I was not happy. I was judgemental (heavy on the mental) I was condescending, I was critical, and a plethora of other disempowering states, but I was never happy. Today, I don't want to be right, I just want to be happy and at peace. Being right and happy do not co-exist for me.
A Healing Age
We live in an age where there are so many healing modalities handed to us us on a silver platter. It is a smorgasbord of healing. All we have to do is reach out and say "yes I deserve healing." Open to receiving all the goodness coming our way. This is a practice we do every time we practice the San Dao Jing Li; the ceremonial opening to our daily Qigong practice. We spend time witnessing all the blessings coming our way every day. Qi Gong is a great deterrent to anger.
The Power of Perspective
One powerful practice is gratitude, a direct counter to anger and resentment. When I was in early recovery several decades back, when I would go into my victim stance, blaming everyone else except me for my predicaments, my sponsor in early recovery used to say:
"Stop, drop, and give me 20."
Not push-ups, but twenty things I was grateful for—an immediate state shift - a completely different perspective.
Similarly, in Qigong, we engage in somatic (body based) practices that shift our internal landscape from stress and conflict to peace and harmony. With a daily practice, it becomes difficult to get stuck in anger. As an added benefit, people who practice Qi Gong daily tend to have increased health and less body pains ~ with a balanced, grounded, and open outlook on life that people want to be around. What is the opposite word for miserable? High vibe maybe?
If you are curious about the phenomenal healing of Qi Gong, We have developed a Therapeutic Coaching Program with Qi Gong as a core component of the journey, based off of Qi Gong from the 7000 yr old Psychotherapy/village tradition of Yi Dao Huan Yuan. Click here for the course details
In Revitalizing Relationships, our course on conscious partnership, 'Lovemedicine for intimate relationships', we teach the tools required to maintain peace amidst emotional storms and create connection and understanding ~ from which real solutions naturally arise.
"If you control your anger and show it's opposite-love compassion, tolerance, and patience - then not only will you remain at peace, but the anger of others will gradually diminish."
Dahli Llama
The Illusion of Being Right
Years ago, when in the silence of vision quest, I recognized that the times I had insisted on being right, I was not happy - I was judgmental, condescending, and disconnected. Never at peace, I also realized: If I am 'right', guess what? That makes someone else wrong. This is divisive, polarizing, and doesn't bring the connection and understanding that is longed for underneath the drive to prove a point ~ certainly not the kindness and compassionate empathy the Dahli Llama speaks of - is it? Today, I no longer seek to be right—I seek to be happy ~ filled with a sense of compassion, belonging, and curiosity that invites real connection and growth in relationship.
The Energies of Transformation ~ where will they take you?
In relationships, the changing seasons affect us on a biological and emotional level. After a long Winter, unresolved conflicts may surface. Couples who have endured the cold months in conflict, or worse yet in silence may suddenly find themselves in upheaval. Some lash out in frustration; others withdraw, expecting their partner to intuit their needs. Neither approach fosters connection. Hence the term 'Spring Breakup' a phenomena that often occurs for couples who haven't been taught how to communicate in a healthy way. Spring Breakup is something I committed to never experiencing again in this life.
Choosing Heaven Over Hell
Imagine waking up in the morning with two choices:
On the left nightstand, a pair of glasses—the glasses of hell. When worn, they cast a grey shadow over everything. The world seems bleak, danger lurks around every corner, and life feels like an endless struggle. With these glasses, a person becomes hypervigilent about safety. A sense of fight or flight (or maybe even freeze) overtakes them. We all lose our cognitive abilities when we are stuck in these states. In the long term, disease begins to set in due to all the stress that is amped by our perpetual state of disempowerment.
On the right nightstand, a different pair—the glasses of heaven. Through these lenses, the world glows with golden light. The cup is half full, opportunities abound, and gratitude infuses every moment. The person leaps out of bed with vigor to charge into their day, spurred on by a strong sense of worthiness and belonging. Gratitude abounds.
Who would you rather be around? Who would you rather embody? How do you want to feel? Choose wisely. Isn't having a choice great?
Which glasses will you choose?
Early in my journey, I didn’t realize I had a choice. Today, I do. And I teach others how to choose perspectives that empower rather than deplete or destroy. People, Places, and Things do not dictate to us how we feel. We do. The responsibility is ours as individuals.
Turning Rupture into Rapture
When we learn the skills of shifting our perception and
compassionate communication, we can transform rupture into rapture.
Rather than seeing conflict as a sign of impending doom, we can view it as an opportunity for transformation and an invitation to deepen our connection within ourselves and with the other.
The Bible states:
"An answer when mild turns away rage."
By practicing emotional fluency, we learn to express ourselves with clarity, compassion, and vulnerability. We break free from the patterns inherited from unhealed generations before us - And open a vista of possibilities creating new patterns of "rapture" in our relationships - a state of deeply connected overflowing love and joy.
Healing is available to us—now. We can choose to face our fears like the buffalo, embrace the lessons that arise, and open ourselves to the gifts of love and connection that Spring has to offer.
This season, let us awaken, not just to the renewal of the earth but to the renewal of our hearts.
Let us turn rupture into rapture, and experience love as a force
greater than any storm.
Turn Rupture into Rapture — Join Revitalizing Relationships
The impulses of 'Spring break-up' don’t have to mean breaking apart. They can be an opportunity for growth, deeper connection, and emotional renewal on a personal level and in your relationship. If you’ve found yourself struggling with conflict, miscommunication, or emotional disconnection, know that healing is possible.
In Revitalizing Relationships, we teach you how to:
✅ Shift from reaction to response—mastering emotional fluency
✅ Cultivate peace within, no matter what storms arise
✅ Transform old wounds and belief systems into sources of strength
✅ Communicate with love, clarity, and purpose
✅ Build a relationship that thrives, not just survives
Your relationship deserves more than just surviving another season. It deserves rapture, joy, and lasting love.
👉 Are you ready to step into a new way of relating?
Join Revitalizing Relationships today and start your journey toward deep, conscious connection.
📩 Click [here] to enroll now!
Vince Wishart
An experienced group facilitator, NLP Life Coach, Registered Therapeutic Counsellor, Author of 12 books on Emotional Fluency, Qi gong Instructor and community builder, Vince has been running men's groups & community talking circles for 7+ years. Read Vince’s Full Bio
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