Updated: Dec 3, 2022
How Do I Self Heal? Why would I want to?
We all have our reasons to self heal. In these times of bombardment of bad news from our media sources, our friends and family may be worn from this and so many other worries that accompany it all, and we can be left feeling drained, and even scared. A potential advantage to this, is that the pain can catalyze us toward healing.
Ancestral traumas, dysfunctional Family Systems, the wounds of our own past, are a few examples of aspects of ourselves that may be calling out for healing during these times. An elder recently said:
"These times are a great opportunity to do our inner work, because those who haven't done their inner healing, will need our help."
How Do I Self Heal? Why would I want to? IE: What motivates you? Is it because you're tired of suffering? Is it because you know in you're heart there is the potential for a greater experience of life?
"Self healing is an interesting concept. In my opinion all healing depends upon the Self & blossoms through the Self."
We live in a society where most everyone has trauma. It runs rich in our veins and the veins of our ancestors. Trauma creates triggers, triggers cause fight or flight which causes reactivity, which can cause us to do things we are not proud of. It starts with FEAR.
FEAR is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real
One main fear is the fear of the unknown. In the recovery groups I have run over the years, this seems to be the main fear of addicts seeking recovery. IE: "Who will I be when I am recovered? I know how to cope and survive with drugs, I am not sure I will be able to without them". This was expressed by myself as well in more than one set of 12 steps. "I don't believe I can do this" is the inner doubter coming through. These thoughts come in, Then when the thoughts are given words, the words can have the opposite of the desired effect we are seeking if we are not careful.
Before we speak, to have the presence of mind to ask: Is what I am about to say based in Love or fear...Let's speak Love into existence
As a man thinketh, so is he. As a man speaketh, so it comes to be,
Here I am interviewed with Lois Gurnet author of the Guide to Spiritual Evolution. I cover the following topics here:
Step 1: Be Impeccable with our words.
We create our reality through first the thoughts that we think, and more importantly, through the words that we speak. Being impeccable with our words is of the utmost importance. We speak into existence our realities. We have that much power.
“We are either unconscious, or conscious creators”
If only we knew how powerful we are. Realizing our power is not nearly as difficult as many think. Quite simple really. Our power is found inside. "I am powerful, and I can do this". You got this.
2. Our True Power comes from Inside.
One of the main programs in society teaches us to find our power outside of ourselves in material consumerism. Status is found in a degree, or the type of car we drive, how high in the sky our apartment is. Yet, those of true power and lasting fulfillment, do not have those as their focus. Their inner world is of prime importance.
3. Vibrate at a Love & Gratitude Frequency
Do this while standing in your personal power, It's like a muscle that needs to be worked to have faith in it. The following headings will give you the ways to get there. Love & Gratitude ares our greatest protection against the negativity we may experience in life. To live consistently in this state requires Self Healing. Self healing is a broad topic with a vast array of methods to stay in tune with our inner world. The following are ways to do so:
Joe Dispensa talks of Coherence.
"a clear intention (a coherent brain) and an elevated emotion (a coherent heart)"
Dictionary.com Defines as:
Simplified Scientific definition: A property holding for two or more waves or fields when each individual wave or field is in phase with every other one.
When the resonances of our heart & mind are in sync, this generates resilience.
When our inner systems act in coherence, a Torus energy field emits out from our heart sending out a field of flowing energy that surrounds the body. My experience is that this attracts other loving beings, and pushes away other energy forces like water does with oil.
5. Strive to Remain in a State of Coherence
This will grow our Torus energy field into a very powerful force that yogis have been practicing for centuries in their quest for enlightenment. Imagine how you could navigate this world in a constant state of Coherence.
While their are many more forms of Self Healing practices that can support this, I will speak to a few of my personal favorites here:
6. Guided Meditations:
These are a great place to start. You tube has a vast array of them there, and meditations can be found just about anywhere. Here is a vid of me guiding the Golden Sun Meditation, a meditation full of richness and alchemy.
Once a person has been guided into their inner world enough times, and one becomes comfortable there, one can guide themselves. You can, from this point, develop a relationship with your inner world. Nurture this relationship often. You will not be disappointed.
Is setting intention. It is also making a connection. Maynard Dalderus says:
Intention is tension that is inside. It holds a place for that idea, thing, situation, to manifest.
Intention is a prayer. I love prayer, and My life has become a path where I have easy access to a constant contact, a ceremony with my Creator and my helpers in the spirit realm and I can call on them at anytime in any place. This has become more of a natural way of being for me. If I am going through a hard time, triggered or overwhelmed - These are often signs of disconnection rather connection. Prayer helps me reconnect, with my Self, with Spirit, & with life - especially Gratitude prayers.
For a long time, I would pray in a sweat lodge or ceremony, and then get very busy in life, and forget to listen to the answer. This comes in only one way that I have found. To listen. This can be challenging. Especially if you are like me with the tendencies of a busy mind. Constant contact to me is Connectedness - Presence with self & spirit/great mystery, which naturally leads to states of awe, appreciation, gratitude, Love, and compassion.
Yes, and its not always easy. Sometimes, I find myself in over drive; "driving the boat" out of my own will & power. That's when I know I need to reconnect through prayer.
It's the devotion and willingness to listen and connect when you notice that you're off somewhere else. Once the chaos mind comes in, That is when I know it is time for a breather, a reset. To calm myself, reset my nervous system, Get better acquainted with my inside world, return to gentleness and innocence. Here is one way I do this:
7. Stillness Meditation
Sending out a prayer to the universe and then listening. It is a conversation after all.
Imagine a child running up to mom to ask for a cookie then immediately running back outside to play. Do you think that prayer is going to get answered?
The subconscious mind is the link between the conscious mind, and the Infinite intelligence. We need to know how to work with the tools we have. For some strange reason we are not taught these things in school. The whole, universe exists inside of us. The answers to our questions are there inside, and outside as we are connected to all that is.
Develop a Mindfullness/Presence Practice
Maynard was one of my greatest teachers and mentors. He was to me like Socrates from Dan Millman's book the Peaceful Warrior. He Helped get AA started, was an amazing healer, and he and his wife Leanne published several books. I love and adore his languaging. He said:
“Presence, presents, Presents”
meaning, when we are present, there are many gifts that are offered up from that state. Nothing else exists except that present moment. Not thinking about our yesterdays, not dwelling in future possibilities, but here, right now. Here is a few of their books: https://www.thriftbooks.com/a/maynard-dalderis/3010228/
8. Being present with ourselves
is of primary importance. How can we expect to be present with another, when we are not able to be present and centred with ourselves? Kelly Tobey taught me that it doesn't need to be a big process. It can be as simple as taking a deep breath before we greet the person, or respond in conversation perhaps with our eyes closed, going inside, to access that place we have been so many times in our personal stillness practices. He calls it:
"The place that true intuition comes from, the quiet place."
Relationship with Self opens the pathway for Relationship with another to happen. It is the gateway to true connection.
9. Being Present with Others
In order to attain this, can we get all revved up on coffee after dealing with rush hour traffic for an hour, and come to a screeching halt, and expect to be able to step into presence with another? Unlikely isn't it? (although I have tried lol)
Presence with others requires Attunement & Empathy. It also requires engaging in the process of healing the wounds of our past. This is so that we aren't seeing others through the eyes of our past, which is a distorted perception and the cause of much relationship distress.
We offer Relationship Support to help with the process of healing in & through the Relationships in your life.
Mindfulness walks, Chigong, ecstatic dance, yoga, crafting, a focus on prayer and meditation from the states these practices provide are without compare
Breath & Body & Spirit Awareness.
Reflection and Curiosity
Awareness, Empathy & Compassion for Others. ...
To practice this in our still times, is to gradually learn how to do this in all aspects of our lives. Start in the quiet, and work your way up to maybe a noisy downtown street corner.
10. Rest and Sleep
This most important piece to the puzzle had been one of my greatest downfalls in the past.
“You can sleep when you're dead”
a personal development guru told me and I ate it up. Little did I realize the importance of sleep for restoration in my body. It wasn't until I developed heart issues, that I took a step back from my get er done attitude, to reassess my beliefs around sleep and rest. Even this took some time as I had deeply ingrained patterns, some of which I am still working on...I'm a work in process. During Sleep our body & nervous system repair.
11. Self Compassion
Learning to be kind to one’s self can be very trying for some who are new to Self Healing.
Many times we have a part of us that is a critic, and can be very heavy handed and self deprecating. Lording over us telling us that we are not good enough, or,
“Don't even try, you're gonna fail anyways.”
Sound familiar? We all have parts. Yet, we can start with giving compassion to our Vulnerable Self. Sometimes remembering compassion for someone else can draw up the feeling and then you can direct it to where you need it most. Inner critics need love too. Our inner critics role is to keep you safe. They tell us: "Don't take risks, or you could get hurt' as an example. By giving attention to this part of ourselves, holding compassion for the tireless work it has been doing for you all these years. Honoring with reverent gratitude for the positive intention of protection, and perhaps even re-contracting with that part to be on the lookout for love and to let me know when you see it coming so we can both receive it.
One of the Men’s groups I facilitate is a weekly deep dive into the 12 steps working with the medicine wheel and other First Nations philosophies. When we get to step 7, We do a practice where they write on the bathroom mirror positive affirmations. "I Am" statements that are empowering. Then they eye gaze with themselves while repeating that positive affirmation as a mantra over and over, till they notice a shift in themselves, their heart begins to open to the new reality they have created. they are now a conscious creator. Yes, they are brainwashing themselves into believing with their whole being that these things are true for them, of them. Feeling it is key!
Who couldn't use a little brainwashing hey?
On the Fly Self Healing
“Drop and give me 10”
My first sponsor in recovery would say this every time I was complaining about my day, whining about how hard things were for me, sympathy seeking. He did not co-sign my BS. Instead he'd say, “Drop and Give me 10” which meant; get off your high horse of the pity pot, and give me the top 10 things you are grateful for right now. This practice stuck with me, and I find it very helpful traversing this life.
Within 30 Seconds, you have a radical shift change. I sure did/do.
This one is my first go to, that is why I wrote it last, so if you don't remember anything else, remember this one. The attitude of gratitude. yeah, it's cliche' and it works...well.
You can exhibit Self Compassion by dropping and giving 10.
You will rest better by making out a gratitude list before bed.
Gratitude annihilates anxiety.
In a state of gratitude, it is much easier to be present with one's self, and others.
Stillness meditation, why not start with gratitude?
For prayers to be answered, gratitude is essential according to my teachers
Guided meditations work great from a state of gratitude
Remain in a State of Coherence through gratitude
Coherence is a bi-product of gratitude
Pray from a state of Love And Gratitude...seems obvious at this point yeah?
True Power comes from inside. Gratitude is power.
Not too hard to adopt these suggestions into your life is it? I'm grateful you read this article, and my prayer is that you will choose to benefit from it by applying these easy and fun suggestions. Remember, it's like developing a muscle. It may take some time to build up these as habits. Soon you'll be strong in your practice. You have have what it takes to be your own Self healer.
When we Self heal, We find our personal power. We immerse in love and gratitude, and we revel in the richness and beauty of all this life has to offer. Can you think of a better place to be?
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An experienced facilitator, NLP Life Coach, Registered Therapeutic Counsellor, community builder, Vince has been running men's groups for 6+ years. Read Vince’s Full Bio