FEAR and the Peaceful Warrior

Fear, a gift or a curse? What is the use of fear? To keep us protected? What is protection? Some part of our egoic nature? Our sympathetic nervous system to keep us safe?

The Shambala Warrior speaks of it like this: “Fear has to be acknowledged. We have to realise our fear and reconcile ourselves with fear. We should look at how we move, how we talk, how we conduct ourselves, how we chew our fingernails, how we put our hands in our pockets uselessly, then we find out something about how fear is expressed in the form of restlessness. We must face the fact that fear is lurking in our lives, always in everything we do.”


daring, courageous, adventurous, fearless, plucky




bold, fearless, courageous

To be fearless, absence of fear, is almost unheard of. But to be courageous, moving beyond fear, takes us into higher places. The higher road.

There is a story a First Nations elder and teacher shared with me. The story of a storm, The Tatonka (Buffalo). He said: “A storm came, the horses all became restless, they began to run in chaos as the storm grew in intensity. The buffalo however turned into the storm, directly at the north winds, directly into his fears, to the things that made him uncomfortable. He bore into the winds directly head-on, the whole time, no matter how uncomfortable he got. When the storm was done, he turned away and went about his business.”

My intuitive healer, counsellor, teacher and mentor Kelly Tobey said:

“Find a safe place to sit alone, in your feelings. Commit to yourself, Sit with those feelings, no matter how uncomfortable they are. Those feelings may even get to a point where you may believe they are going to kill you. When they don't, you conquered them”

This is the magic place, this is the place where you push yourself past the point that you have ever been. The stretching of our consciousness, our belief systems. When the feeling doesn’t actually kill you, is where the new neural pathways are developed, and the warrior gets built up with greater skills, fortitude, and determination to take on bigger challenges.

Shambhala Warrior goes on to say: “Acknowledging fear is not a cause for depression or discouragement. Because we possess such fear, we are also potentially experiencing fearlessness. True fearlessness is not the reduction of fear, but going beyond fear. Unfortunately, in the English language, we don't have one word that means that. Fearlessness is the closest term, but by fearlessness, we don't mean “less fear” but “beyond fear”.

By going beyond fear we mean examining our anxiety, nervousness, concern, and restlessness. If we look into our fear beyond its veneer, the first thing we find is sadness. Beneath the nervousness, Nervousness is cranking up, vibrating all the time. When we slow down, when we relax with our fear, we find sadness which is calm and gentle. Sadness hits you in your heart, and your body produces a tear. You are about to produce rain or a waterfall in your eyes and you feel sad, lonely, even romantic all at the same time. That is the first tip of fearlessness and the first sign of real warriorship. Fearlessness comes from working in the softness of the human heart.

The ideal of warriorship is that the warrior should be sad and tender, and because of that, the warrior can be brave as well. Without sadness, the bravery becomes brittle like a china cup. If you drop it, it will break or chip. But the bravery of the warrior is like the lacquer cup, which has a wooden base covered with layers of lacquer. If the cup drops, it will bounce rather than break. It is soft and hard at the same time”

The acronym for FEAR is

F alse

E vidence

A appearing

R eal


F ace

E everything

A nd

R ecover

It is a similar choice as waking up in the morning and choosing which glasses we are going to put on. The glasses with the filters of hell. Of our own traumas and difficulties. Of being quick to judge, and react, to stay on guard looking for things to prove our own self-limiting beliefs to ourselves. Frowning, shoulder slumped protecting our fragile hear or back puffed up in arrogance as though no one is going to hurt me.

Or we pick up the glasses of heaven of challenging ourselves to remain in the great unknown, the infinite possibilities, in curiosity, in openness, in freedom, with open hearts, undefended, smiling in happiness and gratitude, dancing our prayers of gratitude with a skip in our step.

Many people do not realize that we have this choice. I did not know this was a choice. I was not taught this till later in life. Through the lenses of my own traumas, I walked through life, with many resentments, poor self-esteem, condemning others and myself for my plight.

I was an Egomaniac with an Inferiority Complex.

Confused as to who I was. Even once I learned there was a choice, I still often opted for what I knew, the easy way out. It takes work to develop new skills. So much easier to take the path of least resistance and blame and shame others for my plight. I was at cause for all my outcomes.

A Peaceful Warrior focuses on effect. What effect am I having on this situation in this moment? What can I do to help these ones feel better about this circumstance?

What can I do even better than I am already doing to effect positive change?

Asking better questions helps with this. With the right question, the answer exists inside the question.

So Fear is an opportunity for growth, for expansion, to stretch ourselves in our beliefs, in our capacity. We came to walk this earth as 2 leggeds for a reason. Not to be the worst we can be, not to harm our “Earth Mother'', not to take, not to walk into a room and say what can these people do for me?

We came to grow out of selfishness. We came to learn how to be of service,

to get high all the time in service,

to walk into the room and ask, what of value can I bring to this room of people? How can I bring my gifts, and giftedness to this room to help everyone here have a better day, life, to bring improvement and blessings? When we rest our heads on our pillows at night, we can reflect on how good we were to others. How we showed up in ourselves, knowing that we bring true joy, connection, and fulfillment to others and by doing that, we gift ourselves. True wealth is defined by one of my First Nations elders as the development of our character. This is the accumulation of riches that we want to strive to do. This is the way of the Peaceful Warrior.

The Peaceful Warrior asks himself before bed, did I create harm today? Deeply reflecting on her day, his actions, her behaviour. Do I owe amends at all? Promptly doing it that day or the next. How can I rectify those traits in myself in the days to follow?

A Peaceful Warrior looks at themself in the mirror, for long periods of time, connecting deeply the eyes in the mirror, asking who I am today? How much love do I have for myself today? Eye gazing deeply into the soul of that one there in the mirror. Recognizing the parts of themselves that are good and beautiful, courageously asking the other how can adjust the areas that still need love to make corrections. The Peaceful Warrior doesn’t go into judgement, self-criticism or self-deprecation and doesn’t see wrongs, just areas that need adjustment without condemnation, more like gratitude for the awareness. The Peaceful Warrior strives for mastery. Fear is diffused this way, dissolved in love in the loving presence of the one in the mirror.

At LoveAlive we have a creed:

"Our state of being is not determined by our external or imagined environment"

May you have the presence and coherence to see the world and all it has to offer as a gift and walk-in gratitude every day. We are products of our environment, We become everything we associate our minds with. Look around at your 5 closest friends, and you will see the exact lifestyle you will have in 5 years. You will see the attitudes you will have,

If these areas could use some improvement, consider joining us for Our Peaceful Warrior Men's group. We ask for a 4 session commitment minimum and have 8 Sessions, 24 sessions, and 52 session packages available