Part of a series of blog articles regarding Peaceful Warriors by Vince Wishart Thurs Mar 3, 2022
When we think of warriors, we may think of a Samurai with blood all over their blade, or perhaps an army guy like Rambo, Maybe a Conan type character. Firstly, let's tune into what a warrior is:
Stack Exchange looks at the differences between warriors and soldiers to give context:
"Poetically, a warrior is one who lives for the fight, and a soldier is driven by duty, and may have no love for fighting.
A soldier seems to imply someone who is in the army and has been trained by some militia.
A warrior seems to imply a more barbaric figure, or at least, someone who fights, but isn't necessarily part of a state army, but is fighting for personal reasons.
The next difference implied is a soldier who has discipline, and works together with other soldiers as a team to form an army. They march, move and stop at the same time. Warriors don't do this, and although many warriors might fight in the same army, the term "warrior" implies that there is no discipline, (at least self-discipline) and that they just move of their own accord.
To be a soldier is to fight for a living -- it is an occupation. To be a warrior is to have that ingrained code of conduct that was vastly more present in the olden days. Today, one is not usually a warrior in the literal sense. It is far more common to refer to someone who fights as a soldier. The terms are definitely not synonymous because of the nuanced history behind each."
What the heck is a Peaceful Warrior then?
Dan Millman wrote a book called The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. It is in my top ten all-time favourite books. I have gifted away more copies of it than I can count. How do we as men hide behind our bravado, our presentation of ourselves, that we feel the people in our lives want us to be? What masks do we put on to navigate in this world? What would happen if we left that mask at home just once? How would be received then, if we showed up as our authentic selves? It is not about fighting, except for those inner battles, standing tall and facing what we can. It's viewing life as St Augustine prayed:
"Lord I pray not to lighten the load, but for stronger shoulders to carry the load".
A peaceful heart when facing change is the goal. The warrior spirit comes into play when we decide to do it in peace, calm, accepting the change and doing what it takes to remain in peace despite how daunting the change may seem to be. We find our inner stillness, not being affected by the outside world. Silence is the warrior's art. The warrior cuts his mind to ribbons with meditation, gaining insight, and surrender.
All circumstance is neither good nor bad. We put aside our anxiety, staying in the unknown. We remain in the great mystery of it without judgement, without giving it meaning. This is the Way of the Peaceful Warrior.
At LoveAlive, we have a creed: "We do not allow our outside circumstances, real or imagined, dictate to us our inside state"
If Perhaps, you are a man who has accepted the role of protector guardian, hunter, and provider, you are not alone. This is a societal typecasting, and the message is: We had better step up into that role or else suffer the consequences. This role can leave little room for processing our emotions, and inner workings. What are we as men passing on to our kids to be healed? Maybe we come from inter-generational trauma. Have we ever explored our attachment styles? Have we ever taken the opportunity to address these things? Men may feel as though they are often forgotten about as their needs are not important, as long as there is food on the table and the bills are paid, and the vehicles are running. Does anyone relate?
In today's societal norms, what room do we take for ourselves to do self-care? I don't mean watching the game with a beer in hand. What is done to take care of your spirit? Your woundedness, your inner child, what honour has there been for the sacrifices you have made for your family? For the deep inner reflection of your inside world?
Being a Peaceful Warrior is being poised, ready for anything, while remaining in a state of coherence and attunement. To do this well is a demonstration of mastery.
Attunement is to bring our inside world into harmony with the natural world.
Coherence is the quality of forming a unified whole. When we are in coherence, the world around us becomes the same. We begin to see the innocence behind the behaviours and actions of others.
Behind every behaviour, there is a positive intention. (NLP presupposition)
When we understand that people have some positive intention in what they say and do (however annoying and negative it may appear on the surface), it can be easier to stop getting annoyed, resentful, distanced, and start to move forward to rapport by honouring the positive intention behind their behaviours, and then, when their heart is opened, we can discuss higher outcomes.
What creates happiness for the Peaceful Warrior? Not the outward expansive solution of the western world: If only I had_______, I'd be happy. Either we are happy now or we are not. Purpose, meaning, and connection are what brings happiness. These are worthy pursuits.
"Don't take for granted what you can do. Don't be sloppy with your life. Devote your life to a higher purpose: Service to others. The warrior does not give up what they love. The warrior finds the love in what they do." The Sacred Path of the Shambala Warrior
The Peaceful Warrior will take the middle road in a conflict without judgement or giving it meaning.
A Peaceful Warrior sees the sameness in all people, all relations. They accept everything and everyone where they are at. They don't have to agree with behaviours and viewpoints, realizing that the other is where they are in their own growth.
A Peaceful Warrior isn't looking to be right, they just want to be happy. The 2 are typically not synonymous in my world. I recently reflected on my life and all the times I was right, I was not happy, I was righteously indignant, I was judgmental, condescending, critical, self-righteous, sometimes downright mean in order to be right. The Peaceful Warrior is not seeking to be right, but seeking happiness through peace and inner stillness where all great thoughts come from ~ the heart, the inside direction.
A wise man once said "There is your truth, my truth and the real truth in between" I add: There is the right and left, the blue pill and red pill, what happens when you mix blue and red? You get purple. So the purple pill is the one I took, in order to remain in the great mystery, not giving meaning or judgement what is, or appears to be. Arguing is for the weak. The strong will seek harmony before anything.
How can we come together through these times, see the innocence in everyone, come to understanding and bring ease and grace back into our lives, our family, community
and society? The Peaceful Warrior Men's Circle is a great way.
Have a look at Why a Men's Group is Important
Men's Peaceful Warrior groups are available in person and online. Groups are limited to 12. You can buy your packages here:
If you can relate to any of this, this Men's Peaceful Warrior group may for you may be for you. Feel free to reach out or to sign up on our Contact page
An experienced facilitator, NLP Life Coach, Registered Therapeutic Counsellor, community builder, Read Vince’s Full Bio