As the year winds down to complete a cycle and the anticipation of renewal rises in our collective consciousness, it's a wonderful time to reflect on who we truly are, how we show up in our relationships, and how we can step into the new year honouring our True Self and that of others. Choosing to listen to your authentic self as the guide in your life is a key to fulfillment. But what is authenticity? How do we find this inner alignment and navigation guide?
One way to begin to think about authenticity is to see it as an expression of love - loving yourself enough to be true to yourself - or discovering self love through deepening your relationship with yourself so that you can be more true to yourself.
It’s also an expression of love toward others,
because the self awareness necessary for authenticity provides the inner clarity that allows us to see past the common defence lenses of taking things personally and making other people’s behaviour about us - and instead being solid in ourselves, we can seek to understand people for who they are or who they present as in the moment. For many, authenticity can also mean vulnerability, and vulnerability is key for connection and deepening understanding. Vince always says it's the greatest strength a warrior can have.
Below, we will explore the power of intention setting and inner resolve, dive deeper into the meaning of authenticity, consider its benefits, and how it can help guide our intentions and choices toward a more fulfilling, dare I say more loving life.
The Power of Intention: New Year Blessings
With the new year on its way, many of us feel the stirring of refreshing motivation and a desire to make inspiring changes in our lives. Yet, it’s common to fall from inspiration into self-improvement goals that come from internalized outer influences about how, or where, we think we should be at this point in our lives, rather than listening to and staying true to the inner ‘voice’ that’s calling us home to ourselves - the voice that’s guiding us toward true fulfilment. What would happen if we let go of external pressures and took this opportunity to make more internal space to listen in? In Qi Gong, we say: "Ting Jin" - Listen in".
Intentions have the power to shape our lives. They guide our choices and motivate our actions. This is why aligning our intent with our true self is so important - our innermost desires, values, beliefs, emotions, sensations, and sense of connectedness with the world - without doing this, we can easily be swayed by the influences of others or get stuck in “shoulds” or lose our way in the illusionary imprints and mind maze of digital / commercial media.
Intention begins with focused attention. Attention is our greatest power. Where we place our attention our energy goes - and this has the capacity to make or break us.
Intentions vs. Goals
Clear intentions are inner guides that enlighten our choices and keep us living in alignment with what truly matters most to us.
They do not always need to translate into a to-do list attached to a timeline of goals. Sometimes simply distilling your intentions at the forefront of your heart and mind to guide your choices as you go can be a beautiful way to illuminate a fulfilling path. This can be a great practice if you struggle with perfectionism or control, (which are both signs that you are not living fully aligned with your authentic self but more in a place of defence).
However, action is what puts things into motion and creates change and goals are about the how - choosing what actions to take to reach a desired outcome.
So if you choose to take the time to include goals as part of your intentional path in this coming year, consider this:
Goals are specific and measurable outcomes. A familiar acronym for goal setting is: SMART - meaning: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely
A dive into each of these can prove helpful yet,
I’d like to focus of the R word: Relevant as it relates with our concept of authentic intention. Clear intentions can be used to discern whether a goal is Relevant - whether the actions of a potential goal align with the full range of the intentions of your authentic Self. If they don’t, then don’t waste your precious time and energy. If they do, then you will enjoy the journey, not just the destination.
Inner Reflection - Getting Clear with Intention & Resolve
Making time and space for self reflection is key to authentic intention setting. Look into your body, mind, heart, and soul - feel into your innermost being for messages from within.
11 Reflection Questions for the New Year
What matters most to you?
What are your Values or Qualities that you wish to deepen?
What do you want to experience (or have been afraid to hope for)?
What brings you joy?
What would you like to cultivate in your life?
What do you want to contribute to the world?
Who are you? (Beyond the roles you play)
How have you been showing up in your relationships (including your relationship to yourself)?
How would you like to show up?
What aspects of your character have you been judging that really need acceptance and what aspects can you celebrate?
What is the nature of your spiritual life and how would you like to deepen it?
In my experience, finding a sense of inner truth is not best approached as a mental experience, but a spiritual one. The mind isn’t always the greatest ally to help reconnect with the essence of who you are - because it is full of the patterning and programs, even values, you’ve picked up to fit into and cope with your journey so far. However, the mysterious Source of all life is a great direction to turn in. Turning toward the spiritual, mystical quality of life with a contemplative, prayerful attitude provides the resonance for the illumination of greater awareness.
Like all of life, spirituality is relational - when we reach for the Light, for Love, for Source and open to it with spaciousness, we can feel it reaching back to us. My experience is that dwelling in this place is the greatest resource for inner reflection.
So be adventurous and reach for the Mystery and Wonder in Life. Let go of the fear of the Unknown and fall in Love with the silent stillness that is both empty and full. Refrain from the strivings of business, constant contact of the digital realm, and the distractions of ‘to-do’s - And get curious what awaits when you retrieve that much attention and turn it toward the Mystery.
As you reflect inward you may find a strong theme emerging into your awareness, possibly qualities that you want to let go of or cultivate, or emotions that hold a message for you. Hold space for these with kindness, compassion, and the knowledge that you are creating fertile ground for new growth.
Know that this opportunity for Self Compassion and warmth toward yourself is just as important as inner insights. As you traverse your inner landscape, you may be inspired to take an in depth inner inventory or you may find the need to sit with certain things and let them integrate. Allow space for whatever comes up to harmonize and distill down into some simple awarenesses to serve as your guiding light.
This could bring to light many possibilities such as a renewed appreciation for who you are, the love you have for someone special, or a love for some aspect of the natural world, a passion that’s calling you deeper into devotion, or qualities that arise in your feeling space as supportive or inspiring such as wonder, appreciation, courage, or gratitude.
When your intentions feel clear, connect with your heart and find your inner resolve to walk your path with these intentions in this New Year. Write them down in simple words that communicate the heart of your message clearly to you. Declare it out loud. Create a visual image that inspires you to live your intentions each day.
Remember: “The quality of your communication shapes the quality of your life. Every cell in your being aligns with what you declare.” ~ Niurka
So with that, may the following exploration of authenticity enhance your experience of embracing a new year with intention, aligned with your innermost, and finding the most inspiring words to express it.
What is Authenticity & How can it Help my Relationships
Authenticity is being true to yourself regardless of external pressures. It’s coming to know yourself through honest and compassionate reflection, accepting, and loving yourself. It means having the courage (or finding the courage) to stand up for what you believe in, be bold, be yourself, and honour your own unique path.
Though this can feel vulnerable at times, embracing vulnerability as a strength is an important part of living authentically because it opens up opportunities for more authentic connection.
From this place, allied with Self and Source, you can show up open hearted and undefended. You can share your strengths and be open to receive help with your weaknesses. Others will feel well received as you receive their gifts and empowered by you because your inner strengths of self awareness, acceptance, and love fuel your generosity of spirit and genuine interest in others.
However, living out of alignment with your authentic self will produce behaviours like: judging, nit picking, controlling, people pleasing, posturing, and other defence behaviours. These tend to come from a place of insecurity and breed more insecurity in others building on the illusion of separation and causing feelings of aloneness.
Defence behaviours are a sign that you need to do some inner healing work, let go of self judgement, and re-align with your authentic Self. For most of us, there were difficult, and sometimes hurtful things that happened in our lives growing up - and we needed to adapt to those environments to feel safe and survive so we took on different “masks” or defence behaviours, hiding our true thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires; pretending to be someone we are not; and / or defending our selves with passive, distancing, or aggressive behaviours.
Although at first, these behaviours can help you feel safe, seeking approval and validation can be exhausting and unfulfilling. People don’t get to know the real you and it can become very lonely. Many people suffer from this however healing and growth are possible with intention, dedication, and support.
As we learn to show up authentically, people who resonate and appreciate our unique qualities are drawn to us and can accept us for who we are.
This creates a nurturing environment for the growth of trust and intimate, meaningful connection in our relationships. As our lives and relationships come into greater alignment with our true self, our experience of joy and fulfillment grow, along with a greater resilience to weather the inevitable storms of life.
Growing through the Challenges of Living Authentically
Cultivating authenticity can be a challenging journey of navigating societal pressures, family expectations, past traumas, insecurities, disempowering narratives, and defence patterning. It can take some time, devotion, and guidance to heal wounds, get beyond disempowering patterns, find your inner guidance system, and learn to trust yourself again.
Yet freeing yourself to express and live your unique qualities, values, and gifts is a precious, deeply fulfilling gift to yourself and to the world.
Self Reflection & Tending to your Inner Landscape
Making time and space for self reflection and cultivating compassionate self awareness is essential practice for the journey of inner healing and living in alignment with your authentic self. What steps are you currently taking for Self reflection and inner work?
To take a step further, we invite you to explore our New Year's offering Rituals of Renewal
where you can learn to continually renew the focus of your intention for ongoing growth.
Connection & Community
By choosing to step into the strength of vulnerability and initiate authentic connection we can cultivate friendships and community that support one another to live authentically, express who we truly are, and contribute our unique gifts to the world.
Outside Help
If past traumas or disempowering patterns have you feeling stuck, individual counselling or group therapy can provide a safe supportive space to process, heal, develop inner clarity, and resilience.
We are hear to support your healing and growth
We all have the power within to care for ourselves and lead fulfilling lives yet there are times when we need help and support to move through inner barriers, reconnect to our authentic Self, and find a new balance of the innocent wonder of a child and the wisdom and resilience of maturity.
If you're feeling stuck in overwhelming emotions or disempowering patterns, seeking help from a qualified mental health professional can be a crucial step toward a breakthrough. With the right support, you can develop the skills to reconnect with your authentic self, regain balance, and rediscover joy in your life.
At LoveAlive, Rebecca and Vince offer compassionate counselling for a wide range of challenges, including anxiety, depression, relationship struggles, and unresolved trauma. We guide you in exploring your thoughts, emotions, difficult experiences, behaviours, and family dynamics, helping you heal past wounds and open up to new possibilities aligned with your true self.
What possibilities are you ready to embrace in your life today?
Remember, reaching out for support is a powerful act of strength, and choosing care for your well-being can be a wise step toward transformation.
Your journey to healing and fulfillment begins now.
As we step into a New Year, let’s take time out to journey inward, let go of external pressures, reflect on the values, qualities, and desires that bring to light our authentic self, and set intentions to guide our path of living a fulfilling life.
Please feel welcome to reach out and book a free consultation or email us at rebecca@lovealive.ca or vince@lovealive.ca
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